I've found my calling in life. Writing job descriptions.
Some people call her Jen - that girl with a tattoo on her belly button that's artsy fartsy and is a stay-at-home mom (kind of). Here's what I say:
Jennifer Craun, Mother of Two
Actively engages in activities appropriate for young children while encouraging positive behavior and growth. Supervises all actions of immediate children and serves as super hero when necessary. Maintains level of understanding and knowledge on all items necessary to do her job in a satisfactory manner and is a whiz in the kitchen.
She loved it so much, I made her facebook page. NOW I'm famous.