It's been well over a month since my last post and a friend recently said to me "I miss the Cyber Seckmans."
Me too, friend. Me too.
Truth is, this last month has been pretty hard for me, on me, for my family and on my family. If I'm completely honest, this last entire year has been tough because I acknowledged the spiral back in January and I don't think I'm entirely out of it yet. I thought I was turning around and quickly proclaimed 2011 as "The Year of Re-Constructing Anna," vowing to get back to the old me and be who I deserve to be. Who I want to be for both, myself and those around me.
So far? Nothing.
More therapy, different doctor, different meds and still I am filled with indifference, loneliness, sadness and anger. A general sense of hopelessness and a constant yearning to be the old me while firmly stuck inside the current me. My mind is a muddied mess.
I don't doubt that I'll come out of this okay. At some point I will find a regimen that works for me and will be able to get back on the path of re-construction.
I just need a little more time.