When I worked downtown a few years ago the single most dreaded time of year was when those danged roller skaters show up. Believe it or not, they're worse than the state wrestling championships and the stupid calliope combined.
The best, easiest and least offensive way to describe them is that this is their ONLY vacation they take all year. Here, to Lincoln Nebraska so they can strut their stuff in sequins and spandex on any number of wheels strapped to their feet. The wheels, of course, being spatted out in a matching sequin mess.
Our prayers were answered when they moved the championships to Florida (insert angelic singing and bright light) because the skaters were tired of coming here. A collective sigh of relief was heard.
Not anymore. They're back. The many-weeks-long Championships don't start until the 20th but they're already here and taking over via skate. Last night I saw a semi labeled "Best Skating Outfitters" parked outside of Pershing.
Dear Lord Baby Jesus, Strap on your skates and please roll over my head until I am no longer conscious enough to give a hoot about these folks. PLEASE. And hurry.
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