An Increasingly Typical Morning

Elliot singing to Pup-Pup in his crib. I walk in to get him up and going.
A: Hey, is someone awake in here?
E: Pup-Pup! (Throws puppy at me.)
A: Let's get the shades open and get a move on - sound good?
E: Noooooooooooo. (Smiling.)

I pick him up and head to the changing table.
E: No Mommy. Owie.
A: (Quizzical look.) You have an owie? Where?
E: No owie. Elmo.
A: You have Elmo?
E: Yeah.
A: Where?
E: (Grabs his bottom - his diapers have Elmo on them.)

Once the diaper is changed, I pick out clothes, giving him 2 shirt options.
A: Elliot, do you want to wear the shirt with an airplane or bulldozer?
E: No. Fie-twuck shert.
A: Firetruck shirt? Okay. (I dig out the two long sleeve shirts.)
E: Nooo. Fie-twuck shert.
A: These are firetrucks.
E: NO MOMMY! FIE-TWUCK! (Elliot pushes me out of the way and bends over his changing table to pull out a t-shirt from the BOTTOM of his drawer that has a flashing firetruck on it.)
A: Okay but we have to have another one under it.
E: NOOOOOOO!!! (Starting to cry.) NOOO Mommy! Fie-twuck!
A: Now, (struggling to get the shirt over his head) we have to wear this (struggling with an arm) because it's cold (other arm) outside.
E: (Full scale bawling.) Fie-twuck Mommy.
A: Yes, now we can put on the fie-twuck.
E: Okay! (Smiling)
A: (Chanting internally 'I love him. I love him.')

We then head to the kitchen to get a snack.
A: Look, Mommy made you a waffle!
E: Mmm, waffle.
A: Here you go!
E: NO MOMMY NO WAFFLE. Wan pangake!
A: But you asked for a waffle?!!
E: NOOOOO!
A: (Pause. I take a deep breath.) Now you listen here, son. (Pointing at him and then at the waffle.) You asked for a waffle and I made you a waffle so you are going to eat your waffle. I will not throw this waffle away because now you want a pancake. If you are hungry you will eat it. That's enough. I'm finished negotiating with you.
E: Mmmm (eating waffle).

Mommy 1, Elliot 0.