Being trapped to the confines of our house with a potty training, almost-3 year old drives home the simple fact that I was not created to be a stay-at-home momma. I was created to be a not-at-home momma so that when I am around my darling child I'm not irritated and annoyed but instead enamored by his every thought and sound (including the stinky farts).
I did learn some things, though:
- Dora will always use her backpack. Always. Just like how Handy Manny and the tools always rescue the bumbling white guy Mr. Lopart. And Mickey's Clubhouse goes away at the end of each episode and Blue thinks it necessary to give clues as to what she wants to do.
- When a package comes that can't be opened in front of him, your toddler will come unglued. He will beg, plead and cry until you find a 2 minute window to dash in a room, stuff the boxes into a closet and say a quick prayer for 'out of sight, out of mind' to work.
- Cell phones call different people. I was looked at like a complete idiot when I thought I was on the phone with Grandpa Jim when it was so obviously Grandpa Frank because ONLY the lion phone will call Grandpa Jim. Jeez, mommy.
- If you tell a toddler that it's time to take a nap, he will look at you and say "I don't love you Mommy. I not. I not. I wan my Daddy." and it will crush your soul and infuriate you at the same time. BUT when he gets up from nap and ASKS YOU to cuddle with them you somehow forget that earlier (and obvious) misspeak.
- It's impossible to build train tracks on carpet and couch cushions-- I'd like to see you rationalize this with him because it fell on deaf ears for 3 ENTIRE DAYS. It doesn't matter if Thomas or the pumper truck leads, it just isn't going to work.
- All I talk about it pee and poop. No, really, it is.
- You don't actually get to watch soaps, lay on the couch eating bonbons, shop online and have wine parties with other moms.
Now, a stay-at-home sewer and quilter? Sign me up!
(And sign my kid up for daycare.)