Frank Would NOT Be Proud

Menard's tried to kill me on Sunday.

We were looking at the cheapo blow up pools and as I struggled to decide between blue and green I heard a crash. Turned around and was doused head to toe (and in my left eye) with some kind of pool chemical.

Everyone is fine, including my eye. A nice Menard's saline wash and a shower once we got home did the trick.

Now fast-forward to Tuesday when their insurance called. Of course I'm weirded out by the fact that it all has to be so matter-of-fact and recorded. I had to tell her what time of day this was (heck, I don't remember), what the guy behind me was doing and exactly how far I was from him, how far Fred was from him and how far "my dependent" was from him. Exhausting. Here's where I let my dad down:

Menard's: Will you be seeking compensation?
Me: (Laughing) No, I'm fine. Really.
Menard's: Will you be seeking compensation for your damaged property?
Me: What? My clothes? Really?
Menard's: I have to ask because it is on the Accident Report.
Me: Oh wow. Okay. No - it's fine.
Menard's: Did the chemical come out of your clothing?
Me: I haven't tried - I'm not worried. They were weekend clothes.. already stained and likely puked on by my son (Yes, I did really say that).
Menard's: And what about contact lenses?
Me: Yeah, I had to toss them but that's not a big deal, I have plenty.

Frank would've gotten new clothes, a lifetime supply of whatever BBQ sauces they're selling and probably even a new left eye.

Dad, if I could see you right now I know you'd be nodding your head because you know this to be true.