What We're Leaving Behind

We have less than a week before the move and all I can think is "hurry up and let's move already!" as I punch the garage door opener 317 times to get the dumb thing to open so I can pull in and narrowly miss the garbage cans on one side and the pole in the middle on the other.

Steel siding = no reception. That means your garage door opener doesn't work worth a crap, you can barely get radio stations tuned in the house and the baby monitor was always fritzy. You, steel siding, I will not miss.

I will miss some things about the house we're leaving behind. All the sappy stuff - like first home as a married couple and place where Elliot was born and took his first steps - but also the hilarity that is our next door neighbors.

You see, we have floor to ceiling windows in our living room, giving us an eyeful of what the other inhabitants of our cul de sac are doing. Neighbor One is mowing, Neighbor Two is running a kid somewhere and old Neighbor Weird is lighting bugs on fire in the front yard.

Or maybe he's welding the bow for his hand-made boat (which is almost a replica of that one dude's arc).

Or maybe he's taking his undies off the drying line that is set up - I kid you not - in his front yard.

Did I mention he has a fully operational steam engine in his garage?

Neighbor Weird has best friends that are animals, once rescued a bunny and took him around the country in his RV and "takes care of" animals if he thinks they are sick... you know, TAKES CARE OF THEM.

They're good people, Mr. and Mrs. Weird, just a little off.

Take for example, Mr. Weird's talk with Fred when we told them we are leaving: Well, that's too bad. I was looking forward to watching Elliot grow up. We once had a little neighbor boy that grew up in a house next to us and then when he got older he broke down our back door and stole my guns!

End of story. Fred stood staring, not knowing what to say. What do you say? What does a person possibly say in response to that? That because you don't have a back door, Elliot can just break down your front door? Or that we've been to the future and that it won't ever happen? What?

I will miss the game of "what are they doing now?"
I will miss the strand of 5 lights they dangle from the roof at Christmas.
I will miss the awesome cinnamon rolls she made last year.

I won't miss any more updates of Mrs. Weird's toenail removal process.

And for that mental picture, you're welcome.