How to Wreck a Wednesday

Plastic Wrap: Check.
Peanut Butter: Check.
Grape Jelly: Check.
Bread: Check.
Knife: Check.

Lay out plastic wrap. Get out two pieces of bread.

Notice small air pocket in bread. *Sigh*

Start with jelly and accidentally poke your hand through the hole with your knife. Leave behind a glob of jelly. *Damn*

Spread jelly. Get more of it stuck in the hole and dig it out with the knife. Jelly is now on two fingers. *Ugh*

Spread peanut butter on other piece of bread. Starting in the middle, shove peanut butter through the hole and onto hand where jelly still is. *Grrr*

Knife in sink, smash the two pieces of bread together and have jelly and peanut butter squish out the hole on each side. Peanut butter and jelly all over both hands. *For the LOVE OF %@#^&!*

Wash hands, wrap up sandwich and toss in purse.

Drive to work.

Retrieve crumpled up sandwich, noting the squished out pb & j all over.

Look forward to a repeat of this morning's performance at lunch. *Hooray*