Thursday, August 26, 2010

Dear Lady in the Purple Acadia:

Hi there! Remember me? Probably not, because I slammed on my brakes to AVOID hitting you the other night. But by then you were already back out of my lane and turning (fleeing?).

Here's the thing. Traffic is kind of heavy right now what with all of the major roads being torn up and replaced, college kids being back on campus and the kiddos back in school. I get that. And because I know I'll love the newly finished streets when they open, I am able to be patient and understanding.

Unlike you.

You seem to be one of those people that thinks that because you've been shuffled off onto my lowly street that you are superior to me and those around me. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ewe. Ewe who? You drive like a jackass. And then - as if to spite me - you drive like a crazy spaz, spilling chili all over your backseat, right before you decide to cut me off.

I saw you over there. I was aware of you, hovering and driving all weird. But really, if you would've just bothered to put your signal on even for one tiny blink of a signal, I would've gladly slowed down and let you in. Because I'm nice. (Shut up.) But, nooooo. You butted your way in and I was left to hit the brakes to avoid hitting you.

And that's when I saw it.

Well, shit, I know you. I know you. With your giant purple Acadia that you "just happened" to buy one night and your dummy baseball stickers all over the back. (Also, you have yet to thank my husband for doing all the research on the Acadia seeing how you didn't even know what one was until you talked to me and then suddenly you owned one.) I even did a quick look over my shoulder - yep, it was you.

And that just makes it worse.

Because now? It's personal. You're not just some random idiot driver.
If you get a little present in the mail that resembles a book on How to Drive from the Nebraska DMV - no need to thank me. The entire city of Lincoln is already thanking me.

Anna Seckman

P.S. - I suppose this is one way to see if you ever read my blog...

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