Just Another Morning

Me: Hey. Do I look okay?

Fred: (distracted) Yeah, you look fine.

Me: Fine?

Fred: Yeah, what? What do you want me to say?

Me: I don't know, you weren't even looking.

Fred: Yes I was.

Me: Uh, no you weren't.

Fred: You ask me every day if you look okay and every day you do. For like 6 years now. You look fine, you always look fine.

Me: Well. Now I KNOW you're lying.

Fred: What?

Me: You didn't even look and I know I don't look okay all of the time.

Fred: You always look great - it's your great personality.

Me: ...

Fred: ...

Me: I want to kill you. (leaves room)