Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Climbing to the Top via Matthew P. Damon

As you know by now - and shame on you if you don't - Aunt Becky is my bloggy hero. And she decided that we (the collective we), her Merry Band of Pranksters, don't do nearly enough pranking. Her diabolical plan is simple: mention the hell out of someone, such as Matthew P. Damon, in a single blog post and see how far up Google you make it.

Wheeeeeee!

You can get up close and personal with Matthew P. Damon's life by reading Matthew P. Damon's Wikipedia page.

As you all know, I'm in love with Matthew P. Damon's character Jason Bourne. He's super duper kick-ass and adorable as a baby kitten.
Oh, Matthew P. Damon, you and your alter ego Jason can protect me from the evil CIA - or any other bad guy - any day.

Matthew P. Damon has been in a slew of movies but the first time he really caught my fancy was playing smarty pants Will Hunting. Sure, he was a total basket case and made fun of Robin Williams' painting (which, Matthew P. Damon - SHAME ON YOU) but in the end he went after the chick and I was proud.

Why?

Because, duh, Matthew P. Damon could be coming for me next! I should probably come up with some form of enticement to get you to ditch your hot wife, Mrs. Matthew P. Damon, to come to the cornfields to find me.

I will make cookies. I wonder what kind of cookies are Matthew P. Damon's favorites? I hope to hell not the Tollhouse ones because I can't ever, ever EVER get that damn recipe to turn out. That, and those are my current husband's favorite cookies so if I made them for Matthew P. Damon Fred might get annoyed.

We do have some commonalities that cannot be ignored. Matthew P. Damon didn't finish college and neither did I! Matthew P. Damon has been on Oprah and I've watched that show before! Matthew P. Damon donates to places that support Africa and I once did a piece of embroidery of Africa! Matthew P. Damon's character in Ocean's Eleven, Ocean's Twelve and Ocean's Thirteen was named Linus and I once donated a quilt to Project Linus!

One thing I will not do for Matthew P. Damon is spew out babies at his whim. His poor wife, Mrs. Matthew P. Damon, is pregnant AGAIN and Matthew P. Damon spends his day dodging her punches. Maybe we could work out an agreement where I don't have to have babies but could still use Matthew P. Damon as my personal punching bag.

But I wouldn't want to mess up Matthew P. Damon's lovely face!

Speaking of, I leave you with this:
*sigh*


[Updated to add: I'm on TOP baby! Google up Matthew P. Damon and whattaya see? ME!]
[Also, for more drooly love fests, check this out.]

14 comments:

Rebecca said...

I dated a guy that looked just like Matthew P. Damon....the Matthew P. Damon in Good Will Hunting. He was so hot. I like Matthew P. Damon in Good Will Hunting.

Aunt Becky said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*wipes eyes*

Oh, Matthew P. Damon, you're going to be as amazing to cyber stalk as John C. Mayer. Matthew P. Damon, I love your kitty cat picture because it reminds me of my fake cat, Mr. Sprinkles.

steph gas said...

matthew p. damon is an attractive man. i would be jealous of mrs. matthew p. damon, if only she didn't keep spurting out little tiny junior matthew p. damons.

http://justanotherwastedday.blogspot.com/2010/09/william-m-joel-likes-hydrogen.html

Aunt Becky said...

Oh, make sure to link to this post about Matthew P. Damon in my post on my blog Mommy Wants Vodka. The post on my blog Mommy Wants Vodka about John C. Mayer. In the comments on my post and in the Mr. Linky box. This specific link is important.

And then keep writing about Matthew P. Damon this week and keep linking back to your other posts about Matthew P. Damon.

Jana A said...

Wow. I love Matthew P. Damon. He's amazing. When he is. But when he's not amazing, he's not. He's not as awesomely douchey as John C. Mayer, though.

Jamie said...

Awesomeness about the Matthew P. Damon, this blog rocked!

kyouell said...

I love that you John C. Mayer-ed Matthew P. Damon in a positive way! I plan on doing the same thing to Val E. Kilmer as soon as the kiddos pass out & before I pass out from all the my-MIL-will-be-here-tomorrow cleaning.

You rock, Prankster!

Kristin said...

Matthew P. Damon is a sexy badass as Bourne but, I agree with you, no popping out babies for Matthew P. Damon.

Check out my prankster fun and learn about my love affair with John S. Barrowman.

Erica said...

Matthew P. Damon is HOT. And, he's less of a douche than John C. Mayer and not a cheater like Johnny Edwards.

Hope he comes for those cookies!

http://www.talesfromthetracks.com/2010/09/15/johnny-edwards-i-had-such-high-hopes/

Hamlet\'s Mistress said...

The Matthew P. Damon of the Ocean's series is far and away my favorite Matthew P. Damon. He was adorable. Though I must admit to having never seen the 3rd Ocean's movie so I did miss out on Matthew P. Damon in that one. And Good Will Hunting is one of my favorite movies and Matthew P. Damon is definitely one of the reasons. I love that Matthew P. Damon wrote it with his friend... notoriously bad actor, Ben Affleck. He can't hold a candle to Matthew P. Damon!

HM

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Matthew P. Damon is hot.

Sigh - I could spend all morning thinking about Matthew P. Damon's character in Good Will Hunting.

Angie said...

Congratulations, Matthew P. Damon on this greatest of achievements. Forget the Oscar or that silly Golden Globe or People's Choice nonsense. You, Matthew P. Damon, have been chosen as a suitable candidate to be John C. Mayer'd!

Becky Mochaface said...

Oh Matthew P. Damon, you are so hot. I fell in love with you hard during The Bourne Identity.

Chrisi said...

Oh Matthew P. Damon, you were my celebrity crush after the Borne movies. In fact, I adored you so, Matthew P. Damon, I bought all of the movies. Sorry to say, though, Matthew P. Damon, I replaced you with Paul W. Walker IV, who has also been John C. Mayer'd. He's much more my type Matthew P. Damon.