Hold the phones people! I must drop everything and get my car into the dealership AS QUICKLY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.
Cancel lunch! Cancel the snowstorm! I gotta jet!
If I don't hurry and get my recall fixed, my accelerator pedal could ... accelerate!
I guess if I ever take my floor mat out and don't replace it properly, my gas pedal could get stuck under the mat and that could make my pedal accelerate! Nooo! I drive around daily with a preschooler in the back seat! THE HUMANITY!
Some big federal group just did a huge (and likely hugely expensive) 10 month investigation, and I read-ed it on the cnn.com interweb tube so I know it's for reals, so I know it's as dangerous as they are telling me. This report has determined that my gas pedal can get stuck for three VERY scientific reasons: becoming trapped, age/wear and driver error.
Wait - what? It's caused by not putting your floor mat in right, your floor mat getting old or me just being a jackass? And this has prompted a 10 month study and recall? A. RECALL?
Okay, what now? It's only if my car has a kind of floor mat not standard to my vehicle but instead is a fancy schmancy all-weather one?
So, let me get this right. They want me to bring my car in so they can modify (read: cut with a razor blade) my mat so that this doesn't happen.
Um, I'll pass.
[Cue exit music: Aerosmith - 'Living on the Edge']