Letter of Apology

Dear Kelly,

Hi, how's the weather? It's nice here, one zip code digit away from where you are. How is your family? Oh, right, I work with the hubby and our kids are in daycare together. I obviously need to stop beating around the bush (what the hell does that phrase mean anyway?).

When I first started working here you and me got along swimmingly and found a deep connection over lunches with LaRon and the love of Barenaked Ladies. And plants - you owned them but I cared for them. Wise Ole Jade was my favorite - a tiny stem about 4 inches high with 6 plump leaves. And then I left this fine establishment for a few years and in those few years the plants managed to really flourish.

Then I came back and a matter of months later you left (plan it that way?) and your plants were left to fight for life in the new, red-walled MarComm area. The time came when they had to give up the ghost (another saying I don't really get) and admit defeat... Jade was shriveling. It was hard for me to see the now 18 inch tall monster like that so I called PPS (Plant Protective Services, duh) (oh, and PPS would be ME) and confiscated it.

I loved it like I love my own plants. New pot, fresh soil and plenty of water to fill those succulent leaves back up. And then. Well. I don't know what happened. Would this be another Office Etiquette Snafu? I watered it on a Friday and when I came back Monday, half of the thing is limp and bent completely over the side of the pot. Kind of like this but worse - much, much worse.

I googled up all possible diseases but nothing seems to fit.
All I can do at this point is hope that I didn't kill Wise Ole Jade.

Kelly, my good friend, I am sorry for what I have done to your plant. I really thought I was helping it (and it does look 100x better - sorry MarComm friends for the dig) and now it seems I was crushing its will to live. I hope you have it in your heart to forgive me.

Love, Anna