Friday, February 5, 2010

Winter Wonderland Cluster****

Dear Car -
Why do you smell like something is rotting inside of you? I looked under the seats today and found nothing... so could you clean up?

Dear Chick in the Giant White Thing -
I am sorry that I was in your precious way this morning. In case you didn't notice, it's snowy and slick and cars are (literally) all over the place. I turned left and all of the cars stopped so I had to suddenly stop. While I was stopping and pleading to not hit the car in front of me you felt it necessary to honk at me repeatedly. Honk away, sister, I can't go anywhere. Oh - and for a big ole truck like that... it sure is a sissy horn.

Dear City of Lincoln -
I want you to know that I support you and know that you'll get around to it. What's "it" you ask? Everything. Plowing the street - you're trying. Re-filling the potholes that are back after this sloppy mess - you're trying. Even if everyone else rails against you, know I support you.

Dear Guy that Usually Scoops Around Pershing -
Where are you? I wasn't wearing boots (more on that in a sec) so I was forced to catapult myself from one footprint to the next and I don't know who the guy is that made those prints but man, he must be tall. I didn't love showing up to work with snow packed all around and inside my shoes because there's nothing I hate more than wet socks.

Dear Elliot -
Thank you (sarcastically said) for making my feet grow a full size while carrying you around for 9 months. I had found the BEST pair of boots ever but now they do not fit. And since I don't want to wear a boot that resembles UGGs, I don't have boots. Worst part? My coworker wears my boots every time it snows. I want to hate her for it but the rational side of me thinks well, at least someone gets to wear the best boots ever.

Dear Readers -
I hope you're having a more pleasant Friday than I am.

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