Getting to Know Fred Seckman

In a world where a high percentage of marriages end in a divorce, it was nice to read that after you make it through the first (blissful) 5 years, it drops to a 10% chance. Sitting pretty at 6 years and 2-ish months, I think we're one of the 90 that are going to go all the way.

Because really? Fred is all kinds of awesome.

His name is Fred Seckman and he's the other half of the Seckmans that are Saying Things. He's a bright young man (C's get degrees!) that is nice to his wife and child and isn't getting paid to do so - bonus! Born in 1980, he is a young lad who specializes in sarcasm and has a general dislike of all people.

My people, meet Fred:

What is your idea of a good date?

September 14, 2015

You're stranded on an island, what 3 things would you have?

A boat, satellite phone and GPS

Your house is on fire, what do you grab as you run out?

My ass

What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

Hit the snooze button

Do you see a glass half-empty or half-full?

Depends on what liquid is in the glass

What do you see yourself doing when you retire?

Nothing. Isn't that the point of retiring?

You are driving and get lost, what do you do?

Find myself on my phone's Google Maps App

You've just been told you have a few months to live, what do you do?

Jump out the window to prove the doctor wrong

How do you impress a date's parents or friends?

Not meet them

A kid comes up to you and kicks you in the shin. What do you do?

Trick question. No kid is quick enough to kick me in the shins, therefore the kid in question must be a super powered kid. Thus, there would be nothing to do unless I had super powers, which I do not. So I would then be forced to work on being bitten by a radioactive spider or finding a power ring to endow me with sufficient powers to see the child out for to achieve retribution.

If you could invite anyone to dinner, who would it be and what would you talk about?

Myself and we'd talk about me

Your work lets you out early, what do you do with the free time?

Another trick question. All time is free, do you see a time store somewhere? Do you have to pay for your time? It's work that must buy my time.

A cashier gives you too much money back. What do you do?

I use electronic payment therefore this question does not apply to me. If an ATM gives me too much money the bank should look for the programmer that allowed the error and get their money from him/her.

If you could work in any profession, what would it be?

Unemployment

What are some nicknames you've had?

Most of them are inappropriate

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Wow. Enlightening, right?

Tune in next time for my responses.