Trip to the Pumpkin "Patch"

Irony at its best.

We went to Roca Berry Farm's pumpkin patch last night. We never actually made it into the pumpkin patch. HA!

So - sorry but we have no staged photo of Elliot amongst pumpkins. I'll try to post some of the pics we did get later.

Watch Out - Here I Go

Okay. I've contemplated it. I'm going to do it. My blog, my opinions.

I'm feeling a bit suffocated lately by everything political - signs, billboards, television ads, endless phone calls, debates, newspaper articles - mostly feeling out of sorts. Why? Mostly its that I'm a blue living in a raging state of reds. The system is broken people; let's fix it.

Yes, please raise my taxes if that means I get to have fabulous parks, libraries and public school systems. Thank you for honoring individual freedom and for believing choice is a fundamental and constitutional right.

I believe our government should work for the common good. I believe in a government that supports equal opportunities for all and respects the privacy of its citizens. As a citizen, I am obligated to respect life and be a steward of the environment - done and done.

You can bet I will be at the polls on Tuesday. I will proudly wear my "I Voted Today" sticker the rest of the day. Then I will go shopping for the evening to avoid the 18 repetitive conversations that will be on every station that do nothing but create stress and speculation.

Wednesday I will wake up to a new president. And hopefully, CHANGE.

Smooth Talker

In what seems to be overnight, Elliot is talking more and more everyday. Here's a little list of what he's currently saying (followed by what he's actually trying to say):

Noh. Mine. (No, you are mistaken because that object is mine.)
Take-oo. (Thank you!)
Moh Cakah/Mik/Waffo? (Mom, I would like to have another cracker/milk/waffle.)
Ware-it-goh? (Where did that object that I just had go to? Complete with shrug, palms up and quizzical look on face.)
Here goh. (Here, Dad, I'd like to hand you this object.)
Sit? (Mom, I'd like to to sit so close to me that you're nearly on top of me and Dad I want you to sit just as close on the other side.)
Lessee! (Let's see! Used when taking temperature and it's time to see the reading.)
Wok? (I'd like to drag you around the house by your finger and make you sit somewhere then get up and walk some more and then rock in the rocking chair.)
Wok? (Not to be confused with walk - I'd like to rock on the rocking horse or in my little rocking chair OR Mom, you rock in the big rocking chair.)

Rollin in his 5.0

A little while back, Elliot was given a car by his Wenciker Grandparents that actually came from Uncle Dan somehow. Here's a little video, made by Freddie, in which Elliot debuts his incredible racing skills.

The part you don't get to see is Fred pushing Elliot in the car back UP the driveway. Over and over and over and over. You know, Fred said, I can run 13 miles and be okay but pushing him back up that driveway 30 times really is a killer.

Dang... Again?

So you know that one time when I was whining about Elliot and it turned out he had a sinus infection the whole time? Well - you know how I've been whining about him getting up at 4 a.m.? Turns out, according to the doc, he is having night terrors.

Essentially, he is "waking up" terrified out of his mind yet he's not actually awake. Which is why when we were trying to console him and figure out what was wrong it was making it worse because then he would jolt awake and panic even more. Bizarre.

Oh, and Elliot? I'm sorry about threatening to put you outside.

Dear Elliot

While I appreciate you letting us sleep in until 4:45 this morning - please STOP this nonsense. Or at least tell me what you are needing at this hour. Because if you can't tell - when the entire world around you is dark and asleep it means its time for you to be asleep. Or working 3rd shift at Smart Chicken but I don't think that's our case.

Momma doesn't understand what your yelling, head-bashing and screeching means. I never studied banshee-speak in college. So I guess it's come to a bribe.

If you sleep until at least 6:30 tomorrow morning, I'll let you have WHATEVER YOU WANT for breakfast. Candy, ice cream, cat food - you name it, it's yours.

If you don't? I'm going to get you at 4:whatever and put you outside so Momma can get some more sleep.

Love, Momma
PS - I'll let you know tomorrow whether or not I'm kidding.

I'm in Love

So I don't want to admit it, but I like watching the new FX Show 'Sons of Anarchy' even though I desperately try to read whenever its on (and only get one page read during the entire hour).

I figured out why I like it so much. I'm in love with Jax.

Shut the Alarm Clock Off!

Oh wait, what? That's not the alarm? Ohhhhhh.... right - it's Elliot. It's 4:15 a.m. OF COURSE he's wanting to get up right now this second!

I tried to get him to go back to nigh-night like the rest of the state but he wasn't having it. Fred tried and he got even more upset. Finally at 5:15 a.m. or so I got up with him. He wanted a "nack" and then some "joos" and then proceeded to play with EVERY loud toy he has, throw balls at me and stack books on me.

I was curled up on the couch under a blanket occasionally mumbling "mm-humm" when it sounded like he was asking a question trying to pretend this wasn't actually happening. Then - the little turd slept the entire drive into daycare this morning. Life is so unfair.

Rain, Rain Go Away

I'm going to sing a little ditty for you:

Rain, Rain Go Away
You are Ruining Anna's Day

You see, while I yammered on and on that Elliot was going to his first pumpkin patch I was only hiding the truth. It's my first pumpkin patch too. And I was SUPER excited about it.

It officially got canceled for tonight and re-scheduled for next week. Probably the day after all the big dumb kids pick all the cool pumpkins and leave me with a moldy lop-sided one that has a squirrel living in it.

Some Chick Humor

I sent out an email letting folks know that I need some movers to come into the office to move some giant files. Because we have to pay for an hour of their time, I asked if they need anything else moved.

Amy, a co-worker in Cairo (Nebraska not Egypt) responded with this: Could you send 'em west? I'd like to rearrange my bedroom furniture. I'd also like my face and the area below my neck lifted.

Seckman Pumpkin Party?

We're supposed to go to Roca Berry Farm's pumpkin patch tomorrow evening with Elliot's daycare. The Weather Channel is saying otherwise - cold, blowing rain starting tomorrow at 9 a.m. and not stopping for a few days. I called Fred to whine.

That's okay, he said, I'll just buy some hay bales and pull Elliot around in the wagon in our garage. We can even have cider.

Besides, he continued, it's all about the photo-op at this age. We'll just take him to Super Saver and toss him in with the pumpkins and take a picture. No one has to know.

Right. No one that can't read that milk is on sale for $2.88 a gallon. I can hear Grandma Judy now "Chuck! Since when did Roca start selling milk?"

Lunch Notes

I went to lunch today with a few friends from the office. Here is a smattering of what was talked about:

My safety word is kumquat.
I usually work the 10th and O corner.
I feel your pain.
I'll have to de-program my kid for a week.
My bar name is Cameron.
My children's names are Cammie and Lappie - my parents bought them from Korea and Japan.
I'm on a diet. An all-carb diet.
I am going to write a romance novel. The characters will be named Dirk and Vulva.
I'm having soup at my wedding?
I put my kid to sleep with Kenny Loggins every night.
I put mine to sleep with the Beastie Boys.
Ivanna Cone?
She peed all over everything!

Don't you wish you could have been there? I love our lunches.

Me and My Vertigo

U2 sang a song about Vertigo that made it sound cool. I don't its cool as it rears its ugly head for the 2nd time in as many months.

As you recall, I was diagnosed with Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV) days prior to the gall bladder fiasco and was told I can plan to deal with it off and on for the rest of my life. Well, it's currently on. It's on and it sucks.

I can't help but wonder if anyone else that knows me suffers from this. Will it end up being some bizarre thing like the gall bladder incident that I later found out almost ALL of the women in my family had theirs out around age 30? Are you all spinning in your heads but not talking about it?

What I find ironic is how every kid spins and spins and spins just to get this sensation for a minute. Elliot wanted me to spin him around this weekend and at the end he laughed heartily while I staggered back to the deck to sit down and be grounded for a moment. It's like the benefits of 15 spins without the work - but I don't like it.

Labor Pains

Because you're all dying to know - it seems a broken wire between the steering column and shifter is the likely cause of the key incident.

So - about $1.25 for the part and $170.00 for labor and we can pick it up later today. Yipee.

Well Shit.

The night went great - the kids were great - I got sent home with 4 caramel apples and even made it over to Tina's to pick up my sunglasses.

Drive home, pull into the garage and....

Well Shit. The f-ing key won't come out. The car is in park but it won't release the dang thing.

We tried driving it around, tried on and off and shifting and pulling fuses - all to no avail. According to my best friend Google this is a common Pontiac thing and more commonly a Pontiac Grand Prix thing. Well Shit. Good thing we ditched the Alero and kept the GP.

So much for a lazy Saturday morning. Now we'll be at DuTeau's and well shit, since we're already there let's just fix the brakes. Hey, car, did you know the economy is sucking and this is NOT what we needed right now?

What Was I Thinking?

I volunteered to help make messy caramel apples with a friend - and her three kids and two of their friends tonight. YIKES!

Running (Blogging) Fool

I'm going to try to run. Yes, again. Yes, I know, I've tried to do this a million times. And yes, I know, I always seem to fail miserably.

This time I have a plan. And to help me stay with this plan, I have a new blog so you can follow my journey. I have also done this so that you don't have to be bothered with sweaty shoe stories.

Visit me anytime at See Seckman Run and read more about my attempts to put this plan into action, as crazy as it may be.

Oh, and don't fret - I'll continue to post here too so I can tell you about that time when Elliot literally laid down in the middle of O Street at 7:45 a.m. because he didn't want to walk anymore.

Excommunicated? Or Just Frowned Upon?

Before I start this, let me put up my disclaimer that I am not religious but not anti-religious nor do I want to get into any religion-related conversations/arguments.

I learned I am essentially excommunicated from the Catholic church.

As most of you gasp and say 'ANNA is Catholic? Who'd have guessed?' let me give you a little background. I was raised by a mother that embraced the Catholic church and even put in a private school for grades K-6. I have been baptized and have godparents that are practicing Catholics. I have had communion and have been confirmed (they were prerequisites to "passing" that grade in grade school - feels a little forced).

I digress. I was in a conversation today and was told that because I got married outside of the church to a non-Catholic that I am essentially excommunicated. I've done some googling on this and it seems to me that Catholics aren't all that excommunication-happy as they like to leave the door open for you to 'repent and return' whatever that means.

I did find, however, that I am not a valid Catholic any longer and neither is Jen. I tell ya, I've never missed it (sorry mom and Auntie D), don't really like the Catholic religion and even got C's in Religion class in 5th grade because I refused to memorize prayers (but got extra credit from Sr. Cecilia for doodling a portrait of Mary in my workbook)... but now that I'm invalid... I feel like I just got VOID stamped all over me.

I don't think it will make me run to the church and ask the local bishop to recognize me (apparently you have to do this now that I've marred my record). I don't know that it will even drive me to go to any church. Just something I found interesting today.

Stupid Jokes (That Make You Laugh)

While Fred was watching Ace of Cakes this weekend, one of the cake gals told this stupidly funny math joke:

Why couldn't the trig problem get a loan?
Because tangent wouldn't cosine!
- - - -

At a Ben Folds concert years ago we heard this joke:

A pirate walks into a bar with the captain's wheel down his pants. The bartender says "Hey, why do you have a captain's wheel down your pants?" The pirate says "Arr, it's driving me nuts!"
- - - -

My friend Amanda told me this, but it might not work without hearing it:

What are the two best animals on the farm?
(In your best 70's disco music voice, said quickly) Brown Chicken Brown Cow!
- - - -

Did they at least make you crack a smile? If so, my work is done.

First of Many Times to Come...

Elliot ran away from home yesterday. And as it says in the title, it was likely the first of many, many more times to come.

One second we were all in the living room; next second we're in the living room but Elliot has opened the screen door and is standing on the patio waving at me. Doh! After we quit laughing, I joined him outside for some good old fashioned play time.

How City Folk Make S'mores

Last night, Fred grilled some brats and then tossed wood chips on the coals to get a good burn going. About 7:00 last night I grabbed my twisted metal hanger, loaded it with two marshmallows and marched outside to make my first s'more of the season.

I swear it was the best s'mores ever. And, I swear, even MacGyver couldn't have made a better marshmallow holder. Kudos, Freddie Bill.

Sinusoidal Tendencies

So you know how I've been complaining about Elliot's fits lately and how they seem to be ramping up over the last couple weeks? Well - - -

Dr. Jones said, in her nicest voice, that when your kid has a RAGING SINUS INFECTION its a lot easier to set them off. Their ears ache, their teeth hurt and their tummies are full of gunk. Whoops. Wonder how long that's been festering...

But the nagging voice in my brain says this isn't the sole culprit.

I've had sinus infections and I didn't resort to biting people, bashing my head into the wall repeatedly or firmly believing I can ONLY eat crackers. I never had an absolute hate for wearing anything other than a diaper nor do I have the obsessive need to go 'ow side' all day long.

So, little man, I will give a little more sympathy but don't take advantage - if you bite me again you're going to LIVE in time out. Consider that your final warning.